The tears that flowed pushed me to run to my room, still crying hard. Yaya Hauwa wanted to follow and console me, but Hajjah told her to leave me — that I should cry it out until my heart found relief, for it was the cry of a love’s departure.

I cried on the bed, wiping my tears, when I heard the sound of running water in the toilet — confirming that Zanirah was bathing. My eyes fell on something I had long wanted to take from her — her diary. Today, I finally saw it among her clothes. I boldly took it and quickly opened the first page. The date showed that Zanirah had written it back when we were in JSS (junior secondary school).

> “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I think I love Yaya Aliyu — considering how often I think about him, dream of him in my sleep, and long to see him over and over. What could this mean?”

I hurriedly flipped through more pages — most of it was about our childhood. Then I found an entry that caught my attention. The date confirmed she had written it on 10/10 — the day we went to Area One (Zaria).

> “I must fight to remove Yaya Aliyu from my heart because I love him — yet I understand that his heart, life, soul, and body are deeply in love with my sister, Fa’izah. The bond between me and Fa’izah does not deserve to be destroyed over love for anything in this world. The way I love Fa’izah, I would never want to hurt her feelings. I am sure Fa’izah knows I long for Yaya Aliyu, but nothing will stop her from leaving him for me… I will keep consoling my heart until it forgets him. If the world was made for the sake of the Prophet ﷺ, then from today I remove Aliyu from my heart — for Fa’izah…”

When I reached that part, I broke into heavier sobs, tears falling on the diary. Just then, Zanirah came out of the toilet. The sight of me crying deepened her own pain, and she began crying too.

She crouched by the door and said through her tears, “Fa’izah, please forgive me… I swear I never betrayed you. I never knew Yaya Aliyu was the one I would be married to. If I had known, I would have left town to avoid this day. I swear I didn’t know it was him, Fa’izah…”

I jumped up and hurried to her. We embraced and cried together. I said, “Zanirah, don’t say that. What Allah has decreed has been decreed. Don’t repeat such words. I never suspected you of that. We both made the mistake — me and Yaya Aliyu — for letting our hearts roam freely despite knowing that love marriages are forbidden in the A.B. family line. We are responsible for the outcome. You have no blame; you never broke my trust. My prayer is that Allah turns the love Aliyu has for me — and I for him — toward you, and blesses you with a good lineage. And that He gives me a husband like yours, Zanirah…”